This is for those who said you would be there for me when I got to this point of this cycle. I am cranky, hormonal, nervous and having hot flashes. You see on top of being on drugs that cause my body to go into a sort of menopausal state and a birth control pill that adds a whole new level of hormones to the mix I have to make some of the most important decisions of my life. So I am afraid. I am afraid of making the wrong decision about how many embryos to put back into my uterus. I am afraid of putting everything into this cycle (emotionally and financially) and ending up with nothing. I am afraid of saying "good bye" to the gray, fleshy material in the toilet for the fourth time. So please forgive me for being a little upset, angry, emotional and scared to death right now. Remember that you promised to understand when I got to this point. Remember that I have at least 6 more weeks of this and I haven't even started taking the progesterone and estrogen yet, so buckle down because this ride is probably only going to get bumpier.
By the way, this blog is for me! It is not for my family or my husband or anybody else but me. So if I throw questions out there it is because those are the ones I am pondering at that time and I am entitled to some worry, after all a lot is at stake.
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7 comments:
Hugs to you Candace. I'm not going to say anything like this is going to work or cheer up because I know it's just hard. You're doing your best and that's all you can do. You're in a scary, hard place and these drugs don't help that in the least. Hang in there-- you're getting closer everyday.
Thanks Sasha! I kind of freaked out yesterday - okay I really freaked. I am having a bit of a hard time with the drugs...I am very sensitive. Also I have acne from hell and that makes me even crankier because I am too vain for that. Anyway thanks for the words of encouragement. I've been on the Lupron for a week and the bcp for over 2 weeks. My donor starts shooting up next week and I will start estrogen...awesome!
Hey, this is a long journey, but think about the positive outcome of it. Keep your chin up.
*BFP mentioned*
Hi, "Trinny" from the nest asked me to post my story. Thought it might give you some hope. I just got my BFP from donor eggs this week after 3 failed IVF attempts with my own eggs. My sister offered to donate and I am so grateful. We are far from out of the woods but so happy that we made the decision to go forward with donor eggs. I wish you the best of luck!
Thank you stpetebride! I really need to hear about donor stories because I have become so skeptical with all of my ART cycles and mcs. Did you stop blogging?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! We must have been separated at birth!!! I love it! Remember, this is TEMPORARY! If you need to curse, call me! For the rest of you, Candace is gawgeous and WHAT ACNE? Hang in there cookie . . . this too shall pass!
Yes, I have often thought that we were. Thanks, you're right I've calmed down some now, someone just pissed me off and I couldn't let it slide. You're sweet and it is great to hear from you.
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