Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Greetings from my Bed
I have been in bed since Monday evening after my transfer and acupuncture appointments...today is Wednesday so that doesn't seem so bad, right? Well not for regular people but I (super neurotic hyper OCD ass) am going out of my mind! The good news is that I have completed painting 3 ceramic pieces, my mom has been here to help the past 2 days and I have lots of "Medium" to watch. I love stuff about psychic encounters - I'm extremely skeptical of them but find them completely fascinating none the less. Up until I started writing this post I really haven't felt any thing except for the pain from the giant knots and bruises on my ass as a result of umpteen million intramuscular progesterone and estrogen shots. Right now though I am feeling kind of crampy. I am hoping and praying that is a good thing. When I was at acupuncture on Monday, my acupuncturist told me to quit worrying. Easier said than done, right? Then he went on to say that worry accomplishes absolutely nothing. In fact, in my case it could hurt things a whole lot. So he said to consider myself pregnant until proven otherwise and I've pretty much kept that attitude. It's not that I didn't know worrying is absolutely useless but he just reminded me that with infertility there are no breaks. Every body's experience is unique, there is no magic formula and the women affected are completely powerless to definitively determine their out come. It's going to be what it is and there is nothing I can do about it. The worrying REALLY does not help - which I've been told all of my life. Since I come from a long line of worry warts, it's usually really hard to stop that habit but not this time. So hopefully that crampy feeling I'm getting in the pit of my gut accompanied by a severe head ache is a result of my hatched embies implanting in my uterus. If not, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. So that's what I'm going to think.
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10 comments:
Shiner,
In hindsight, hate to admit it but your acupuncturist is right. That said, I always bristled at the "just relax" or "quit worrying" comments from well meaning friends.
For chronic worrywarts like you and I who probably fret over exams, hosting dinner parties (I used to go nuts!!), holiday shopping and other trivial things, this is like the biggest thing to worry about :-)
How can you not worry about something that seems to work so randomly? Like don't you think a lot of this ttc process is out of your control? No amount of "effort" or hard work leads you to the promised land?
Sorry about your soreness. Are you allowed to put hot/ice packs on the bruises or is it a complete no-no?
Hopefully you can get up and go for a leisurely walk at the end of the week.
yay for cramps! j/k! I actually remember feeling hardly anything and was sure it didn't work! So you never know?!
I am a OCD/Type A kind of person too, and I think infertility is the hardest on people like us! Yes, we do it to ourselves by worrying and obsessing, but just saying don't do it, doesn't really help! I think you are doing great by refocusing that energy on pottery, blogging, and other interests.
And the acupuncturist is right-- you are 3 weeks pregnant! :)
ggop,
Thanks! Yep, I am allowed to put ice first to kind of numb the area and then warm compresses after the shot to help distribute the serum. Unfortunately I still have large contusions under the skin about the size of my hand. So, my husband has to massage them to break them up and it hurts like hell.
Tomorrow I am going to take a nice walk through the mall - yay!
Sasha,
Thanks for the info on your embie grades from the other day, that made me feel so much better. I guess I worked myself up to think only a grad 4 would make it. Also the cramps were very slight and did not last very long. If you hadn't told me you felt nothing I would be scared to death right now. Not that I am cocky - I know this drill, but at least I know it is ok to barely feel anything and I could still end up pregnant.
ggop,
Are you in SF?
Yes, 40 miles south actually in Silicon Valley.
I am so happy to hear you want to play tag. Here is what you do.
Copy the questions and give your own one word answers. The catch is you can only use each word ONCE! Then at the end of the post tell who you tag. "I tag Sasha, ggop....." Normally people tag three people but as you saw I didn't tag anyone.
Have FUN!
PS I am keeping you in my thoughts. Snuggle in little embies!
ggop,
Oh, my dad is in Tiburon and Napa. Also my brother lives in Truckee - that's a little further.
You did IUI you mentioned at some point, did it work for you?
Ooh Marin/Napa county. That's very pretty and upscale! Yes, after going through a laparoscopy and trying meds for a while I went for IUI and it worked. That's why I think its like a deck of cards. Seriously.
Thanks, I've never lived with him except the first year of my life...so you're pregnant now or you have a child?
19 weeks pregnant.
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