7 Weeks

I am so happy to have come this far and to have seen both heartbeats! I haven't had morning sickness per say though I have had nausea a few times when I was hungry and had not eaten in a while. Mostly though I feel like I have the flu. I have muscle and joint aches and pains, the chills and it feels like I have a fever but I don't. Since a lot of women have morning sickness defined by nausea and vomiting I didn't know what to make of the flue-like symptoms at first. We read on line that can be common. I am not reading any baby books yet like "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and the like because I am afraid to buy them. So as things happen I just look on line for an explanation. My next ultra sound is a week from today at 8 weeks. By then we should hear the heartbeats - it's hard to imagine what that will be like since I have no frame of reference but I am so excited. Other symptoms: everything smells especially pungent to me. I can barely open the refrigerator so most of the time I go for fruit which sits in a bowl on the kitchen counter. I now definitely have a gag reflex - that's all new...enough said. I've gained 3 or 4 pounds but I think it's mostly water, I am certainly not showing yet.
It's kind of hard just sitting around but I would do just about anything to ensure live birth. Yesterday was particularly hard because it was my grandmother's and my sister's birthday. My sister is fine but Gram passed this March at the ripe old age of 93. She was a real "spit fire." A realtor for 36 years in Atlanta and a model before that. Though we rarely saw eye to eye we were a lot alike and I miss her. I had a dream last night that I told her I am pregnant with twins. She laughed, held my hands and said she told me so. Every time we've disappointed she's known about it and each time she said "it'll be all right, I just know it will"...I hope she knows I love her.