Doppler Rocks Again / Venting

OK, I love the Doppler again. We hooked it up and heard the baby's heart beat after only looking for about 30 seconds last night. It was wonderful! It will really come in handy over the next couple months because my OB will only see me every 4 weeks. I am so spoiled by my RE clinic since they saw me every week for the past 12 that I'll probably go nuts from ultra sound withdrawals. Well, at least I can confirm life with the Doppler.

VENT TIME:
For those of you who have obviously decided to judge me based on my fear of dying during labor, you really need to get a life. It is so hard for me to understand how people can call themselves Christians and then judge everyone so harshly. That is not what Jesus would do. I have a condition called anti thrombin antigen which causes my body to cut off the blood supply to my uterus during pregnancy. I am therefore on Lovonox daily, which is a blood thinner, to prevent miscarriage. If I do not have a PLANNED pregnancy, aka c-section scheduled then I could go into spontaneous labor. That means I could bleed to death weather I have a vaginal birth or c-section. One reason I would rather have c-section scheduled is so I don't bleed to death. Secondly, the women in my family have had their children through c-section because of the way we are built. I have been told, as was my sister, that because of the way my pelvic bones are I will probably HAVE TO have a c-section if the baby is estimated to weigh over 6 pounds. I have always been told that so I have gotten used to the idea. So, if you are judging me because I don't pose as a martyr and say I want to have 24 hours worth of hard labor with no drugs what so ever, let me say for the record that it's none of your business. You are not perfect, there are no saints/angels on this planet, at least none that blog. I find it ridiculous and shocking that there are people out there who call themselves infertile because they had to take a few pills to get pregnant, have never had a miscarriage, whine about everything and then have the audacity to judge me for preferring a c-section...you know who you are. Try walking in my shoes. Six years of infertility, 4 IUIs, 3 IVFs, 3 miscarriages, 1 dead twin I am still carrying, over 300 shots now with 188 more to go and the fact that I will never have my own biological child give me the right to choose whatever fucking birth plan I deem necessary. Further, only an imbecile could think that I would choose something that was dangerous to my baby after trying to make him for six years.

For those of you, you know who you are, who have been nothing but supportive...thanks! I appreciate your character and class accompanied by the capability to have compassion. You are much more evolved than some.