Ok, so I haven't slept through the night for 8 weeks now. Baby girl has been diagnosed with colic and reflux and is currently taking preva.cid (a protein pump inhibitor) to help with acid production. Her projectile vomiting has gotten better but she still spits up a lot. I understand that the spit up is a result of the muscle between her stomach and esophagus not doing its job properly. Apparently it will develop with age and she will likely out grow this at 7 - 9 MONTHS. She used to let Richard give her a bottle of my breast milk and I'd sleep for 4 - 5 hours. Now she will take a bottle from nobody (ESPECIALLY NOT ME) since she knows I have the goods. She screams the whole time anybody else has her unless she falls asleep which is extremely rare. She can't sleep well because she is so uncomfortable. I feel so bad for her. I am able to soothe her but only because I am mommy and I have the oobies. I feel incredibly guilty that Richard and his mother are not able to enjoy any real time with her because she screams the whole time they have her. The only place they can be with her when she won't scream constantly is in the bath tub. I have been to the doctor with her every week. She is growing really well and is 10 pounds now (started at 6.2) but again, she is so uncomfortable all the time. I finally broke down and tried colli.c calm today (I was reluctant because it is BLACK - super messy and I read some bad reviews on it - nothing major just that it doesn't work). It did instantly soothe her and seemed to help her sleep. I think it's the chamomile...oh well. I love her soooooooooooooo much and she brings me so much joy I just can't even describe it but I am upset that she's miserable about 80% of the time. She also goes through phases when she will not sleep for 24 hours except for 20 minutes at a time. I finally just put her on her wedge in our bed. She's most peaceful there. We are really breaking all the rules but I love her and I will do whatever it takes to make her as comfortable as possible.
I am so sick of the advice and bs from others, but that's a whole nother post! I hope everyone is ok - I don't have time to do much but feed, burp, hold her up for 30 minutes, pump and start all over again. Again, I love her more than words can say so I am not complaining I just don't want my tiny little beautiful baby to be in pain from acid burning her esophagus and stabbing pains in her stomach....UGH!
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5 comments:
I am sorry about the colic and reflux. I will hold my tongue with advice for you and just send you a big hug instead. I can certainly relate, since Riley had it too.
Poor Claire! and poor you! P doesn't have colic or reflux that I know of, but I do know what you mean about others not being able to enjoy her. For awhile she was not happy unless you were standing and bouncing her. It is only slightly better now. I think it just takes awhile for them to grow out of not needing their mother so much. No advice-- you do what you gotta do to get them comfortable and sleeping! You know your baby better than anybody else. Hugs!!
Being on both sides of the infertility spectrum lends itself to interesting perspectives doesn't it? Isn't it wonderful that we can absolutely worship every little hair on their itty bitty heads and at the same time not dig every single aspect of being a parent? It doesn't mean that we have "forgotten where we came from", it just means that we are human and sleep deprivation mixed with feeling powerless over comforting the one you adore doesn't make for a special feeling. That isn't advice mind you, dearest . . . it is experience from a fellow warrior! This too shall pass!
You are handling it very well! Its a pity Claire won't take a bottle - you may have had a break but she knows her mum is the best :-)
Hang in there - I know you are so happy to be a mom but it is sure hard sometimes! Sounds like you are having an especially bad time, wish there was something to help her feel better. Maybe the black stuff will do the trick.
Don't you let anyone tell you the "right" way of doing things - this is YOUR baby and if she needs to be in your bed for now you just do it! She's not going to be there when she's in kindergarden, for pete's sake. There are too many "rules", and sometimes they just don't work in all situtions. That's my advice - good luck hon!
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